Relational Equity

I like to think of all relationships like a bank account. You can’t make withdrawals unless you make deposits to match those. Now I’m not talking about using people or taking advantage of others. All relationships are about give and take. I just see too many people doing nothing but taking. All interactions are really transactions. I’m either adding value or subtracting value.

If I want my marriage to be rich, I center it on Christ but I do more for my wife than I ask her to do for me. I invest into my marriage. Just like if I want to grow my net-worth I must invest in things that will bring a return. I must find the things that are of high return for my wife. Just like one area might have a better investment in real estate or another stock might be profitable I must find what works in every relationship. What does the other person value? If I want influence in someone else’s life I must earn the right. Relationships are made to be a two way street. Conversations have to go from both ways.

How does this work?

In Marriage – I want my marriage to be rich. I have to show my wife that I have her best interests in mind. I’m not in this to take from her. I’m in it to serve her. The best posture for me to take in my marriage is that of the cross. I do things with my wife that she enjoys doing and I don’t complain or tell her that I hate them. I just saw a pastors social post about his wife and how much he hated something she liked and he was bragging about that he did it because she liked it. He had the right idea with poor execution. No one wants to feel like they’re being amused and used. How can we better invest in our marriages? It might look different for you than it does for me. What is your spouses love language?

In Parenting – I take interest in what my kids are interested in. I’ve heard it said that if I want my girls to talk to me about boys later in life I have to be willing to listen about dolls early in life. I don’t freak out when they tell me something. They’re looking to see if they can trust me to listen. I invest time in to each of my kids because I want to have a long term relationship with them. I invest trust in them because I want them to know that our relationship is built on trust. I will reap life long dividends. How are your kids wired? What makes them tick? How can you spend time with them to show that you value them?

In Leadership – You gain those you serve. You never lose by serving someone. Jesus modeled this for us. He washed the feet of His disciples to show His was an upside down kingdom. Whether in business or in church we never lose by serving others. God gives us more when we show we can be trusted with what we have.  How are you serving those around you? What’s one way you can better serve your customers or people you lead? What can you do for them that no one else can? What one thing can you do that will set you apart from your field or competition? 

We all give our life for something, what are you giving your life for? You can’t just invest once to get rich, you have to invest for a lifetime. 






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