I’ve been married to my wife 25 years this Tuesday. I’ve learned a lot along the way. I prepared a message for our church with just 5 of those things.
In addition here’s a list of 25 things I realized I’ve learned along the way these 25 years.
- A good marriage requires dying to yourself. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 15:31: “I die daily.” We have to crucify our flesh to have a healthy marriage. I touch on this in being Christ centered.
- Don’t compete. I hit this one in the above message. We win/win or lose/lose not win/lose. “Oneupmanship” doesn’t work in marriage.
- You gain those you serve. My friend Jim Wideman said this first I believe. We gain influence and loyalty by serving our spouse. Christ is our example of serving us.
- Keep Christ at the center. It’s not Christ, then my marriage, it’s Christ in my marriage.
- You can’t do it alone. We all have a tribe of people investing into us. I need mentors and friends.
- You reap what you sow. Everything is equity. Garbage in, garbage out.
- Seek to understand then be understood. Thanks Stephen Covey. Become a student of your spouse.
- We aren’t the same and that’s good. Instead of lamenting differences, celebrate them.
- Healthy takes intentionality. Good marriages don’t just happen. They take work.
- There’s always room for improvement. We are maturing not yet mature.
- I can’t have uncommon by just doing the common. You don’t get Michelin stars by using Mcdonald’s ingredients.
- Repent quickly. There’s no points for standing your ground when wrong.
- Speak slowly. Respond, don’t react.
- Fight for unity. Most people fight Nad it causing disunity. Be willing to fight to maintain and preserve unity.
- Time over time. Long term investments in the right things pay off.
- We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are. Make sure your past isn’t clouding your vision.
- We have to have a common vision and mission. Focus on the right things together.
- Don’t sweat the small stuff. Does this even matter?
- United we are undefeated. Divided we fall.
- Spouse before kids. Live life by priorities. Kid centered marriages don’t honor God.
- Intimacy is what you make of it. WORK at it.
- Communicate always. Don’t assume. The silent treatment is evil.
- Listen more than you speak. Two ears, one mouth.
- Trust God always. The Word works!
- Pay the price. Invest your time, talent and treasure.